The Five Stages of Our (Fake) Relationship
by Slytherin Buttercat
Summary: James does not want to be without a date at his brother's wedding. That's just ridiculous! I guess that's where I come in. The Fake Date. His plus-one for the day.


**OTP Challenge: James Sirius/Scorpius, trope: Fake Relationship**

 **Muggle Studies #14: Write a Five Stages of- story.**

 **Flower Picking: (word) epiphany**

 **Word Count: 1340**

* * *

 **The Five Stages of Our (Fake) Relationship**

* * *

 **i.**

It starts when he comes home from visiting his brother. He slams the door, stomps his feet on the ground, and throws some papers down on a table. "You alright?" I call through the house to my angered room-mate.

"Do I bloody sound alright?" he replies sharply, storming into the living room and throwing himself down on the nearest sofa. "My bloody brother is getting married!"

I scrunch up my eyebrows in confusion. "Isn't that meant to be a good thing?"

"Are you mad? My younger brother is getting married before I even have a steady partner! It's bloody embarrassing, especially as Lily has a girlfriend now as well!"

"Shouldn't you be happy for them, then?" I ask, confused. "They have finally gotten around to setting a date. They've been engaged for years."

"That's my bloody problem!" He stops for a moment, seeming to be trying to calm himself down. "Albus is getting married. I'm expected to bring a bloody date to the wedding, but I don't have one!"

I lean back on the sofa, closing my eyes. He is concerned about trivial things. "Who cares if you don't have a date, though?"

"Everyone in the whole bloody family." That word is getting old now. Maybe I should tell him? "My parents will bloody be clucking at me the whole time to get my own significant other, my brother and sister will be laughing at me, and my cousins will be showing off their own partners."

"So?"

" _So?_ I don't want to be an embarrassment!"

"Aren't you already an embarrassment to some of them for rooming with a Malfoy?"

He ignores me, seeming to be in a state of thought. A few minutes later, he jerks up, a wide grin on his face. "I've just had an epiphany!"

"What now?"

"What if you pretend to be my boyfriend? They can't tease me then, for you're hot and Albus' old best mate."

"Key word being _old_. We haven't spoken since Sixth-Year."

Which Scorpius is grateful for. It wasn't a good time…

His eyes plead with me. "Please, Scorp? For me?"

Puppy eyes always work for me. I sigh noisily, to show him I do not completely agree with his plan. "Fine."

* * *

 **ii.**

We stand outside the church, holding hands. It feels weird to hold James' hand. I've imagined it before, sure, but I didn't expect it to be so clammy. Or smooth. Or warm. "You remember Scorpius, right, Mum?"

"Of course I do," Ginny Weasley says, eyeing the two hands with delight. "Have you finally settled down, son?"

"I have, Mum. I think he is the one."

"Good." She straightens her robes. "You treat him well, Scorpius."

"I will, Ma'am."

Other gingers are… not as accepting. "You're dating him?" Ronald Weasley bursts out, disbelief and anger written all over his face.

"Yes, Uncle. I am."

"Why? He's a bloody Malfoy!"

I find out where James gets his bad language from. That's something, I guess. "I know he is a Malfoy, Uncle. I love him anyway. He's a nice person."

"But he's a _Malfoy_!"

Funnily enough, I know that. So does the rest of the crowd outside of the church, now. "I know, Uncle."

James drags me away not long after. Probably to talk to someone who is not so concerned about me being a Malfoy.

"Scorpy!" a female voice squeals. "Long time, no see. Where've you been?"

Rose. Emma. Weasley. How could I have forgotten about her? She was a nightmare in Hogwarts, and probably is now. Well, that's not fair, she wasn't a nightmare—she just treated me like a friend when no one else did. That was unknown to me at that time. She was the one who told me to room with James.

"What about me?" James says, pouting.

"Didn't see you there, Jamie." She glances down, seeing us holding hands. "Wait—are you two…"

I nod, causing her to squeal. "I'm so glad!" She throws her arms around our necks, a wide grin on her face. "I was hoping and hoping that you two would get together and you finally have! You're so cute!"

I glance at James, who just shrugs, a smile on his face. "Thank you, Rosie," James replies. "We know."

He squeezes my hand before showing me around to more people. It seems like his entire family has something to say about us, whether good or average. Harry is mysteriously absent. So are a few of the cousins, but James says it's because they're either bridesmaids or best men. "Why aren't you Albus' best man?" I ask.

"Albus dislikes me. I was a dick to him because he was a Slytherin, remember?" He grins, embarrassed. "I don't care if anyone is a Slytherin now, though, Babe."

"Good." I squeeze his hand, kiss his cheek, act the part of a loving boyfriend. It feels weird. "Otherwise we would have some problems."

* * *

 **iii.**

The church is cramped. The Weasley-Potter-Longbottom-Scamander clan is huge. Why do they know so many people? I start to shake, the crowd overwhelming me. James grabs my hand, and does not let go, even when Albus goes to stand at the front of the church, in front of the dark-skinned ex-Minister, Kingsley Shacklebolt. I guess he will be running the wedding. Beside Albus is one of my Slytherin year-mates, Caspar Bulstrode, who must be the Best Man. They've been friends since Sixth-Year.

I can give more embarrassing stories than Caspar. He's so ignorant that he misses everything underneath his own nose.

Whatever. Not my concern. I stopped caring for what Albus does in Sixth-Year. It's been five years since then.

The wedding march begins. A little girl, no older than six, walks in, scattering flowers across the floor. Teddy Lupin walks in, wearing a dark suit , holding Harry's arm. Victoire, Lily and a Hufflepuff in Teddy's year follow them.

I won't cry. Why would I? It's not like this brings back bad memories or anything.

"Everyone may be seated."

The wedding continues as normal. Like a wedding should, with a magical element. Magic confirms them as an acceptable pair.

James never lets go of my hand. That means more to me than it would to anyone else, as fear cannot overwhelm me this way.

* * *

 **iv.**

We dance together. A lot. Ignore the stares of the family. Kiss every-so-often to keep Rose pleased. Ignore Albus.

I can't ignore him forever. "Scorpy, let James go for a few moments, and come congratulate the grooms with me!" Rose begs, brown eyes pleading, brown hands tugging my pale ones.

I glance back, but James just shrugs. "Whatever you want."

I go with her to keep her happy. On the way, Rose asks, "Are you two really together?"

I guess I hesitated too long, for she scrunches up her nose. "I guess not, then. Soon, though, Scorpy. Please?"

I shrug. "Maybe."

We stop when we reach where the newly-married couple are sitting. "Congratulations on your marriage," Rose says, smiling at her cousin.

"Thank you," Teddy replies, glancing at me curiously. "You're James' new boyfriend, right?"

Albus looks over at that. "Yeah. I am."

"Scorpius? _He's_ James' new boyfriend? The _fuck_?"

"What's wrong with Scorp, Albus?" a new voice asks, slinging their arm around my shoulder.

"Nothing wrong with him," Albus says, turning back to Teddy. "Just thought you might have a problem with a Slytherin."

James rolls his eyes. "Not anymore, obviously."

He steers me away, leaving Rose behind to socialise. "Do you want to ditch?" James asks me.

I nod, glad that he came for me. Glad that he was there. Glad that he is there now. "Good."

* * *

 **v.**

We're back at the apartment, sitting apart from each other. "That was eventful," James says. "My sister says she wants us to go on a double date with her and her girlfriend next week. You up for it?"

"For real, or for fake?"

"For real, this time," James says, a nervous grin on his face.

"Sure." I smile back at him. "I would like that."

And that I do.

* * *

 **This is crap. Complete and utter crap. Crap crap crap.**

 **(and Scorpius thought that James had a potty mouth.)**

 **(why are all of the Potter siblings in gay relationships now?)**

 **~Buttercat**


End file.
